As voting day draws near, I feel a pit growing in my stomach. I have strong feelings about the outcome of this election. I also have dear friends and family members who strongly disagree with me. I want to avoid hard feelings, yet I feel obligated to stand up for what I believe in. How do I get through these next ten weeks?
My first instinct is to argue with those who disagree, with the hope that they will come to to see things my way. If you believe this has been effective, I have some swampland in Florida you may want to buy.
My second thought is to simply avoid political discourse with people that do not see things my way. But that seems wrong at many levels. If we are to grow in our relationships, and as a country, I think it is important to find a way to have these difficult conversations without damaging our relationships.
My third thought, and the one that led to this blog, is to think about ways to talk about politics in a civil manner. It may seem naive to think that we can really improve in this area, but I refuse to give up on this idea. I think our country would improve if we could find a better way to have these conversations.
In addition, I am in the business of trying to create civil dialogue. I spend most of my days working with divorcing couples and I hold myself out as an expert in helping them find ways to talk about disagreements in a civil and productive manner. It seems hypocritical for me to shirk from these challenges in my own personal life.
So I am going to work on it; starting with this blog. I plan to write a series of blogs that I hope will help me think more clearly about all of this. Over the course of the next few weeks, I intend to ask the following questions:
1. What is civil communication anyhow? It is tempting for us all to believe that civil dialogue is "what we do" and disrespecful communication is what the people who disagree with us are doing. Let’s see if we can look it a bit more objectively.
2. Am I really hearing what my friends are saying or am I just planning my counterattack as they form their words?
3. Do I have to take it so personally?
4. Can I be “Impeccable in my words”? (We are entitled to our opinions, but are we entitled to our own facts?)
5. When I have a political conversation, am I open to learning anything that might affect my opinions?
6. Can we develop rules of friendly communication that will actually allow us to grow closer to each other?
If you are interested in any of these topics, let me know what think.
And please, keep a civil tongue, (especially if you disagree with me).
About This Blog (and this Blogger)
- Ron Ousky
- Edina, Minnesota, United States
- I have been a divorce lawyer since 1983. Believe it or not, I like my job very much. It's not that I like divorce. I have been married since 1979. I like that even better. I don’t like divorce any more than a doctor likes disease. But, I realize that it happens, often to good people. And I know that divorces, like many crisis in life, create opportunities for new beginnings. I like new beginnings and I am humbled by the opportunity to often work with people who find strength in these trying times. Over the past three decades, I have observed more than a thousand divorces and watched hundreds of marriages that have thrived. I have learned a lot, but there is much more to be learned. This blog is dedicated to discussions of the things I have learned, and to the things that I hope to learn more about. Hope you will get something out of sharing this journey with me.
